![]() What did one pen say to the other? You're ink-redable.Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.Why did the photograph go to jail? It was framed.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm.What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.Where do rabbits go for breakfast? IHOP.Needle who? Needle little help getting in the house.īad dad jokes that'll make the whole family cringe Ida who? Ida know, but you better answer the door. Wren who? Wren will these knock-knock jokes ever end? Aida who? Aida big breakfast and now I'm stuffed. Yvette who? Yvette treats animals when they're sick. Giraffe who? Giraffe anything to eat? I sure am hungry. Frank who? Frank you for asking, it’s me. Accordion who? Accordion my sources, it’s going to rain. Knock, knock! Who's there? The interrupting cow.What kind of bug can tell time? A clock roach. ![]() What did one plate say to the other? Dinner's on me.Why shouldn't you trust atoms? They make up everything.How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.What did one hat say to the other? You go on ahead.What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.Did you hear about the emotional wedding? Even the cake was in tiers.Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected foul play.What do you call spaghetti in disguise? An impasta.Did you hear about the dull pencil? It was pointless.What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.What's the best way to watch a fishing show? Live stream.How do celebrities stay cool? They have a lot of fans.How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.What did the lawyer wear to court? A law suit.Where do elephants store their clothes? In a trunk.What did the Dalmatian say after dinner? That hit the spot.Where do chefs learn how to make ice cream? At sundae school.Did you hear about the medieval lamp? It's a knight light.Why did the computer get glasses? It wanted to improve its website.Why did the deer go to the dentist? It had buck teeth.What do you call a bug that can't make a decision? A may-bee.The manager says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here." Bacon and eggs walk into a restaurant.What's the best way to put a spaceship to sleep? Rocket.Did you hear about the pasta that got locked out of the house? Gnocci.What's a mummy's favorite kind of music? Wrap.What kind of shoes do bananas wear? Slippers.How do birds learn how to fly? They wing it.What kind of sandals do frogs prefer? Open toad.Why can't you trust stairs? They're always up to something.Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.Why did the boy throw a stick of margarine out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing.How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away its credit card.What did the envelope say to the stamp? "Stick with me and we'll go places.".What month of the year has 28 days? All of them.The host says, "Hey!" The horse replies, "You read my mind." Where do birds go when they eat dinner out? Someplace cheep.What do you call a duck that likes the Fourth of July? A fire-quacker.Where do cows go on dates? To the moo-vies.What do you call a moose with no name? Anony-moose.What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.I'd tell you a pizza joke, but it's a bit too cheesy.How do penguins fix broken dishes? With igloo.How can you tell if a plant is good at math? It has square roots.I had a conversation with a dolphin once.What do bees use to fix their hair? Honeycombs.I didn't know what to say, so I used big words. Why was six nervous? Because seven eight nine.What did the tree say when spring arrived? What a re-leaf!.What did the duck say when the waiter brought the check? "Put it on my bill.".So, settle in and clear the aisles, because with this stockpile of classics, you're about to be rolling in them. Oooh, you catch our little pun right there? Well, fortunately for you, there are so many more where that came from, all of them just waiting to be savored and stashed away until the next family gathering, friends night out or whenever the occasion calls for cringe-worthy joke.
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